Day 13 – Waiting (Late)

There are two things I’m really waiting for.

The first thing, that has more of a secure date… is marrying Dan. I”m excited and can’t wait to be his wifey! I even love planning out the day and everything, even though sometimes I’m just “Eh, lets forget about it and just elope!” But it’s important to me and I want us to actually have a day about us. I day to spend with family and friends we care about and celebrate our awesomeness. :)

Another thing I’m waiting for is a bit more undecided. We know we will have our land this August/September or so, though we might have to wait a bit before we can actually get on it. However, I cannot wait until we have our own house. I’m fine with it being a trailer home. I’m content with that. So long as we have a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom or two. Preferably at least two. Someplace we can have our couch back and a bed that we can sleep comfortably on. The full is fine, but I get pushed off the bed more then I did on the queen. And our own washer and dryer.. and maybe a dishwasher again. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but our own and our own things. :) It’s what I really want. Number 1. I want our desks to be back together. I miss sitting at our computers right next to each other. :/ So, it’s something I really really want again.

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Day 12 – Lottery

There’s a list of things that I would want to do if I were to win a lottery (that I never play… but it’s fun to talk about sometimes!)

  • I would pay off all my and Dan’s debt, my mom’s debt, my brother’s debt; most of this consist of school loans, so it would be nice to be free from them.
  • I would also set back a good chunk so Dan and I could go back and finish school if we want.
  • Buy our acreage and figure out who all are going to live on it, and then figure out housing for them. My mom is an obvious choice, I could also see Shaman wanting to be there. So, yeah.. figure out houses that can be grown into if needed and our set up for us.
  • Make sure everyone in the immediate family has working vehicles. Be it they want to keep theirs, or if they just want something new. If they want to keep it, it would go to a shop and be put in tip top shape (or Dan would do it if he wanted to) and new cars would be bought.
  • I would travel. I think it would be wonderful to travel for a year. Spend a week in a new city or country and just see the world.
  • And last though not necessarily in this order, I’d get our needs and wants. New clothes, shoes, such as that that are needed and then new computers, new cameras, and those ‘wants’ that always get postponed, but had been wanted forever. It wouldn’t be EVERYTHING ANYONE WOULD WANT! because that’s not the best way to spend money, but those things that people have been wanting for awhile and it just never happens, such as my camera. That would happen.

The rest would all be put into savings and some donated of course. I don’t get why or how people spend through it all without thinking about the future. I would want to make sure we had no worries in the future. Bills were taken care of. If we wanted extras we’d have to work for it for the most part, but otherwise we would be set.

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Day 11 – Nature

So, I don’t know if this fully counts as an experience with nature. But, whenever I think nature, my mind always wanders to my favorite tree in my favorite park in my hometown.

There’s nothing really special about it. It just stands in the center of this hill, all alone. But, you can sit against it, and stare off into the woods behind it, and nobody can find you, because you’re tucked away. And it’s just lovely. It’s a great thinking spot. My absolute favorite thinking spot, really. Relaxing, calming, soothing, all the things that one really needs in a thinking spot of their own. I’ve spent quite a lot of time there, especially during big events in my life.

And yes, when I think of nature, it’s the first image that comes to my mind.

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Day 10 – Dreams

I have a major problem with this.  Remembering dreams is not something that easily happens for me.  However, there is one that sticks around quite a lot.

When I was still going to college, though online. After I lived on campus freshman year. I watched my nephew a lot. Well, one night I had a dream that I had him, but we were in the res halls at my college. This isn’t so odd, however what happened during that dream, was what was odd.

My nephew and I were not by ourselves. Mad-Eye Moody was with us. Yes, the Harry Potter character. We were hurrying to the top of the resident halls (one of the high rises…7 stories of building). We went up stairs and elevators and eventually got to the top floor. The top floor had a piece that jetted off of it, much like the kids play center places, with the windows on every side. However, it had a slide coming off of it. A 7 story foot slide. We could also see the reasoning for heading to ‘higher ground’ so to say. The grounds around the building, especially on the one side, were falling away like ice on a lake cracking and drifting apart. However, the ground wasn’t icy. It was just normal ground.

I never found out why the ground was falling apart, and how the building wasn’t crumbling, but thankfully it stood up. I’m also unsure about how Mad-Eye and my nephew ended up there. Even more so that, I don’t really remember anyone else from the dream. Just the two of them. It must have been an odd week for me.

But, yes, this is the time of dreams that I remember, when they are happy. Otherwise they’re very unhappy, scary, do-not-want-to-remember dreams. I’ll take Mad-Eye, my nephew and I running from falling ground any day of the week, compared to those.

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Day 9 – Adventures

The ultimate adventure I would love to go on, is to travel the world. I would love to visit as many countries as I can. Experience the people, the cultures, the smells, the sounds and just everything about the whole world.

It intrigues me. The fact that we’re all the same, yet we’re all so vastly different. And I want to experience these differences! Sadly, and yes I know I shouldn’t be so negative, I don’t see this ever happening.

On a smaller travel scale, I would love to visit England. Meet friends, experience all these places I have adored from afar. I think that would be a wonderful adventure. To see, if I really loved the place in person as much as I love it from a distance.

Another, grand adventure I would surprisingly love to have, though I’m happy either way, would be parenthood. I know it’s crazy, and I know that at times I’m so very against having little ones. However, sometimes, especially when I see my friends and their family times, or even complaints about lack of sleep. I kind of want to experience that. Take on that adventure. And, it is an adventure. Parenthood. Just being a teacher is an adventure, so of course going through life with your own little ones would definitely be an adventure.

But we shall see. It’s fun to see where life takes me on my own adventure. If adventures that I see in my head are adventures I will take, or if they will be different or just similar. Only time will tell what adventures veer off my path and are along the way.

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Day 8 – Acceptance

There are a few things I need to accept and learn to deal with.

The biggest thing, is I’m not perfect. Not so much that I find myself perfect, quite the opposite. I fight myself all the time with thinking I’m one, big, massive piece of screw up. Especially, when I do mess up. When something isn’t right, when I feel like I’ve failed somebody, because something wasn’t done. I need to realize that it happens. I’m not expected to be this robot and have everything completely perfect. I’m allowed to make mistakes, I’m allowed to not get something done right away. It’s the biggest thing I need to work on, because when I really start feeling it, it really jacks with my head, and makes me feel even worse than just ‘not accomplishing something’.

This also ties into the previous, but I need to accept the fact that I’m NOT a failure. That sounds odd right, accepting that you aren’t a failure? I need to accept that people DO want to be around me, that I don’t scare everyone away and that people actually love and care for me.

And I need to accept that I can do whatever I want to do as long as I put the time into it.

It all goes together. The biggest thing realizing I’m cannot be “perfect” but that doesn’t make me a failure, incorporates everything I need to focus on and remember. It would make me a much happier person if I don’t put all that pressure on myself and guilt on myself.

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Day 7 – Grateful

I love how the prompt for today says ‘things’, I’m going to incorporate ‘beings’ as well..

  • Dan – For everything he does, working, helping around here, comforting and being there for me and just for being amazing.
  • Sirius – Because, he’s Sirius and has always been my comforting beacon, even when the world is crashing around me.
  • Spicy – For her absolute silliness and goofiness, combined with her delicateness.
  • Mustache – For just being a fluffy, no-nonsense rabbit that will come up and let you pet him no matter what.
  • fireplace – For warmth, obviously and, yay fire!
  • trailer home – It’s tiny, and Mom owns it, but it’s a roof over our head, bathroom, heat, water and it works. I miss our couch and Dan’s desk butted up against mine, but we will be there eventually again. For now, this is home. :)
  • cold water – It’s better than no water, and our hot water is frozen. *prods at hot water* lol
  • books – So many books, but books provide escapes and learning and so much!
  • music – for it’s escape.
  • ukulele – Because, it’s a freaking uke! and I love playing it and learning more about it and yes, just grateful for an instrument that is tiny so easy to have with me always but fun to play around on.
  • art supplies – The escape, the creativity, the learning and everything else that doing art does for me.
  • computer – It provides me access to my friends who I adore and love, and ways to write out my feelings, games to play with friends and family.
  • internet – Pretty much the same as computer
  • Harry Potter – So much, HP is soo much
  • Raven – Awesome friend! and has been there through so much!
  • Critter A – makes me laugh and an awesome kiddo :)
  • Critter B – also makes me laugh and is an awesome kiddo!
  • Nintendo – for making games that I love and bringing my brothers and I together for game time so much especially growing up, and even now!
  • deer (curtains count for just deer right?) – cause they’re cute and yummy? And Mom has them on the curtains on here, sooo yeah. :D
  • Nerdfighters – For teaching me so much about myself and bringing me so many wonderful friends into my life, including my lovely fiancee.
  • Money – This seems very… superficial? but I’m thankful that we aren’t treading nearly as bad as we were and that I actually have a 20 in my pocket for whatever I might need when Dan is at work
  • Coffee – Because, COFFEE.
  • Tea – Calming and delicious and helps so much with various things. :)
  • food – obvious
  • clothes – obvious

And I think that’s really it. Tiny house means not a lot around me, but we make it work. :)

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